When Panic Hit in the Waters of Silfra, Meditation Brought Me Back
Sometimes the true test of a meditation practice doesn’t happen on a cushion. It happens when panic suddenly shows up and you need to find your way back to calm.
I have had a fear of water for most of my life.
It was amplified years ago when I nearly drowned in the Puget Sound. Ever since, deep water has carried a quiet undercurrent of fear for me.
But lately I’ve been trying to do something different. I’ve been trying to face some of my fears.
Last year, for our vow renewal anniversary, my husband and I traveled to Iceland (his roots) and Italy (my roots). While we were in Iceland, we decided to snorkel in the Silfra fissure.
If you’re not familiar with Silfra, it’s one of the clearest bodies of water in the world. You’re literally snorkeling between two tectonic plates. The water is glacial, pristine, and so clear that you can see astonishing distances in every direction.
I was nervous even booking the experience.
My son had done it earlier in the year and assured me that with the dry suit they put you in, you would have to actively try to drown. That reassurance helped… somewhat.
Before entering the water, I quietly told the guide about my fear. I could see a quick flash in her eyes — that look of oh dear, one of those. But she was very kind and patient.
She carefully went over all the instructions before we entered the water. She showed us how to roll onto our backs if we needed to clear our masks and how to bring ourselves upright if we needed to stop for any reason.
When it came time to enter the water, she even offered to hold my hands.
Surprisingly, I entered calmly.
For quite a while, I was actually enjoying the experience. The water was unbelievably clear. The landscape beneath us looked almost otherworldly.
Then suddenly, I coughed.
Water slipped into my mouth and into my lungs.
Instantly, panic began to rise.
But I remembered the instructions. I managed to bring myself upright and cough the water out.
And that’s when I realized something else.
I was alone.
Everyone else had moved much farther ahead in the fissure. They were out of shouting distance.
Now the panic really surged.
In that moment, I reached for the tools that meditation has given me.
I rolled onto my back.
And I focused on my breath.
Slowly in.
Slowly out.
I followed my breath for a few cycles, letting my body settle.
Little by little, the panic released its grip.
Calm returned.
Once I felt steady again, I flipped back over and continued snorkeling.
What struck me afterward was how different that moment could have been.
Years ago, panic would have taken over completely. I would have spiraled, fighting the water, fighting my own breath, making everything worse.
Instead, something simple happened.
I remembered to breathe.
I remembered that I didn’t need to control the moment. I only needed to steady myself inside it.
A few slow breaths were enough to bring my body back from panic. Calm returned. And I was able to continue one of the most beautiful experiences of my life.
That moment in the Silfra fissure reminded me of something I’ve come to believe deeply:
Meditation isn’t about escaping life.
It’s about having tools for when life suddenly gets loud.
That’s exactly why I wrote Living Is Easy With Eyes Closed. Not for perfect meditation rooms or silent retreats, but for real life. The unexpected moments when fear rises and you need a way back to yourself.
Sometimes all it takes is a breath.
Have you ever had a moment where something you practiced quietly suddenly showed up exactly when you needed it?
If meditation has ever felt out of reach for you, especially if traditional visualization techniques don’t work for your mind, you might find a different path in Living Is Easy With Eyes Closed.
Sometimes it shows up exactly when you need it most. Get your copy today… Living is Easy With Eyes Closed
Well written. Read the book.